life is fated the way it is....

Recently i have to work my ass off like hell.. 12 hours a day and 7 days a week. tht should be listed as labour torture. lolx. However, the feel and senses is coming back to me now. Before this I kept thinking what a director wanted my mtv to be.. this or that.. but now, i dun care anymore. It aint helping by thinking of what they wan and I cant do anything. So from now on, I will do things my way. My way of protreting the Music Clip to live. I know I can do it. I have to work hard in this.... I kinda accept the fact this is my life. My job. congrats to me. I finally admit it. I am married... to my job. bronze medals goes to me. I am running for silver and den gold!

Beside job, I feel tired myself. Mom got herself involve in acciedent. aunty Ivy and her wen to KL and on their way back, a stupid civic yellow and black wanted to over took them... hitted them and make their car ramp up to the divider and then tht car of tht stupid fellow turn 360 degree and acelerate and bang back my mom head to head... cause my mom enter HUKM. idiotic fellow. I dint know it till her fren called and ask " if u r going to visit ur mom?" I got shock tht time. I keep on asking wert happen to my mom. why do i have to go see her.. her fren kept insisting on not telling me. Damn tht time i feel so angry. I straight yelled at them. I am sorry. but then please understand. thats my mom.. one and only. don u think i have the right to know.. whether its good or bad.. mom also, please no matter wert how can u hide it from us... I would still know wen i reach home and see u not thr... I am not stupiak!!!

So far this few days i have been really tired, wif my hectic work loads, mom acciedent and sis sown with high fever. I have to tk care of everything... and I am feeling restless plus I think I am getting sick..lost my appetite. my eyes sore and as well as my mouth... it keeps bleeding which i dunno why. my spine is getting worst.. shit am i dying???

what worst more can attack me this week?? oh ya, plus realationship is wrecking... I know u are depress. i wish i could help. but wen i tell u wert u should do. u keen on staying on the decision u make for urself.. so wert do u wan me to say... i tried to console u by telling u to think ways differently. but all the while u only tell me... " go ahead and have fun wif ur frens" "its ok. don have to care about me" wth is all this.. pardon me for the languages... but then teach me wert can i do... all i can do i have done.. u are a big gal now.. u should know things better.. i dun wan wen ever i have to tell u wert to do.. yesh u can ask me for opionion. but ask urself wen have u listen to mine? wen u keen ondoing something u already went ahead. i already told u, this month it would be a rough road... i need to work hard...

so dear, please don give me anymore head ache or burden... i feel heavy enuf already. please dun give me the immature attitude which spoil brats does. u know we both having tough times now.. u say u urself would be very busy.. and says wanted time alone to finish of things.. yes i know u missed me... but then wen i dun reply doesnt mean i do it on purposely. u should know i am neither out of credit or away from phone... so please ok dear.... don throw the attitude like tht.

* hugs*

u big gal jor... should act like one.. muaks. u knw i have faith in u.. so u must continue to proceed to work harder on ur studies.. u promised me tht.. so dun break them.. if nt how are u gonna earn big money to feed me.. u should know I am very expensive Xp

Baby, I missed u..=(

This few weeks have been a tiring weeks for me. I have so many things and chaos to handle. Hais.. But then its not long and time r running short. 19th Sept 2009 or maybe earlier. I am going off to Australia..

1st month of spring.. weeee.... tempt will be around 20 to 25 cel.. i wonder how hot or cold can tht be.. sad na.. i wanted to experience wearing a snow cap all day long.... never mind i will have the chance.

1st destination, well of cos its the airport... muahaha, 2nd destination would be... hmmmm.... homie!!!! den do my stuff and den philip island... penguin penguin penguin...

However, i feel sad as well. I know whom I will miss. And definitely home sick... How can I bring the whole sunway togther wif me to Aussie?? hmmm.. if only i could... its okay.. what thy doesnt knw wont hurt...

I will only tell them last min before i fly la... I hope i am doing the right thing here

you are not alone~

Its been a long time i last wrote anything in here. Been pretty busy lately. Works, dogs, friends and gf.

How do love works? Can someone teach me? thy claim if u wana be wif someone. den be wif someone whom love u more then u love them.. but as the matter of fact, i felt tht is ridiculas plus its selfish. I prefer to be in love and be wif someone whom I love more den thy love me.

but i never thought it would be tht suffering. Seeing "Y" tht way, I am starting to think. Everything its not worth anymore. I tend to be afraid to have karma. but witout a deny i do love whom I love. Never did I once, even intend to hurt her or played her.

But then, hais its ok. I am nt having lubri for my brain tht seems nt working so well. So u are not alone~ whom feeling tht way. So wert even u love "K" tht much.. can she even feel it...

alious

cass