Random Crap's

Last night having a pack schedule, 10 am to 6 pm working... however, i woke up late and was late to work.. so i reached thr around 11.15am finish work around 7 pm.. went to san and ate salmon sashimi, 2 piece of ikura, cawanmushi, and tendon.. ordered a glass of lemon juice. after dinner, I actually planned to go gym.. However, my back kept on aching till i cant stand straight..hmmm *sobbies* so i change my mind decided to go shopphing!!!!! weeee~ however, i dunno why i ended up in GYM. muahahaha... so i went on in gym around 1 and half hour... cal and evin came over and pick me up to Quattro... Haiyo, my back pain till i cant even dance just sit and move only...

I drank Coke and around 3 am hubby came and pick me up. went JLN PASAR for porrigde and dim sum.. yum yum~~ work at 11 am to 7 pm, GYM at 8 to 9.30pm and clubbing 11 to 3 am.... muahahaha...

Today woke up and den i keep on wanting huby to hug me tight tight.. hmm... wen to shower and went out at 3 pm.. wen for nando's after that wen to poke poke my back.. he make me feel like a helpless child. he grab me and bend me over and all i can hear is my bone... "crack..crack..." but now I am feeling better..

Hmmm... thought of going to KTV tonight.. but then if wait for Meow den will be pretty late.. Lazy to go out already, now waiting for hubby to come over and fetch me home to cheras~ weeee~~~

End of the YEAR of mooooo~

It comes to an end so soon.. 2009 is coming to an end... alot of things past within this year... hmmm...

how i grow older and wiser at work. how i got tired and restless from work. hmm, how i am in relationship and out. how i have finally let go of Irene. hmm, from trip to Australia and now I am looking forward for Bali and yeap Gold Coast..

I know Pooi Sin wanted to bring me to Bali so much. I know she loves the environment there. But then you dun have to. Well, I knw ur situation and how u wanted to give me the best. Knowing that u tried I already feel happy and I know u love me so.

U know, I never really introduce people to my mom letting her know tht is the person i am wif. Dear, u are 1st. *wink* and I am glad mom approve us.. weeee...

Its been the 1st time where no one is playing in the game of catch.. I dint chase u nor u chase me... muahahaha. just without knowing we are already being together and loving each other. Its funny to learn how we come together, but then I will treasure this moment forever. Cos no one makes me feel this way before. and I hope this gonna be the last...

Cheah Pooi Sin,

I am loving u each and everyday. lesser than tomoro but more than yesterday...muakssss

Neglected Blog, here i come!

for some reason i am too busy till i neglected my blog for a few months i believe? alot of things happened for some reason....

i rush MTV (muzik aktif) and its almost done...took a trip to Melbourne on the 22nd of Sept.

i will upload pictures and slowly explain and brief my each day activities soon, wen i have time to sit and really blog...

Hmm, beside the trip, yup broke up wif yuki. For some reason, i am really nt into this type of relationships.. i knw i hurt her. but its better then dragging her down the road and i found tht v never did understand each other.v never had the chance and time to.i can never get wert is on ur mind and u can nvr get mine too. perhaps, v shouldnt have started in the 1st place. should have just remains frens. tht would be better eh? well, of cos hoping and wishing she will be ready to accept me as a fren wen she meet me up next time. well, if thr is chances la...

I started to bleed again, hahax! but however, i felt much better wen i dun need to rely on meicine to go to sleep anymore. Pooi Sin kept being there to watch me and make sure i go to sleep before she does. hahax and den she complaint i snores!!!! eh hello~ u snore the loudest ok??!!!! none of us in the house can beat u!!!

I am glad she is always there beside me, smiling no matter wert mood i am into, no matter wert difficulties is buzzing around in and out my head. she always greet me wif a smile. makes me feel comfortable and loved. how can anyone replace the place of u in my heart? never know how important u meant to me.. weeee~ love u so much!

u raise me up~so i can stand on mountain, u raise me up so i can walk on stormy seas, i am strong wen i am on ur shoulders...u gave me strength to walk on rocky roads. held my hand wen things gets tough, smile at me wen i cried like a baby, watch me sleep wen i am insecure and nt at ease. how can i ever repay u?

hmmm.... talking about her now i am waiting for her to come back and bring me supper!!!!!! different shift, so sad!!!!!

now i wan to go shower, tomoro need to go to work again!!!!! i need some rest leh!!!!! 2 weeks down! no rest!

how much longer?

How much longer can a person stand due to her failure? fail to love someone and to get love in return? How much longer can sacrifices be make by a side and not both? how much longer will she get sick of it, knowing no matter how much she has sacrifices, its only empty hope she is getting?

It started wen the day they were together till the very end of it. or should i say its not the end yet? how can it be the end wen she struggle hard to let the relationship works out? she meet her today, and have a few moment wif her. she notice the ring that she wore on her hand isnt thr.. so izzit true she is not lying to her.. no one knows.. how can anyone knows wen their relationship in underground and cannot be seen in the crowd.. pardon me for saying not even, wen thy are alone in public... so how much longer will only u be awake? pardon me for saying, u refuse to let her go. but izzit true she is that important to u? if half of u urself dun trust her enuff... how deep is ur love for her u claime u r into her?

u work that hard.. yet u gave out ur money to her that easily.. i know that few hundreds isnt a big amount.. but u can do so much more wif it.. u claime u love her... but how much she loves u in return.. u know it.. but yet u refuse to wake up.. this is nightmare, not a sweet dream nor fairytales... nothing will comes with happy ending always...

u dun have much time to more.. make up ur mind.. if she is gonna be the love of ur life..

signing off,
ur shadow...

The worst or The Best?

Well, yesterday morning in the worst day ever... My car engine K.O.. something about the gear.. thy tune my engine too high up. so i was driving without pressing anything.. hmmm.... den later on at noon, I got involved in an accident.. a minor one.. but major damage to my car. cause my car door can be open.. so i have to climb from the other door to enter my car. swt... Tht stupiak indian guy reverse n den bang me... yet no apologise but then he scolded me. say why i park thr. idiot!!!! how cn u claim i park wen my engine isnt off and i dint even get down from my car yet.. arsehole!

later on, everything get smoother... went for a movie, den go shopping... later on at 7 pm! *wink * lucky me... get to shop for shower cap, moon cake and bread. aiyo thy look so cute plus delicious! yummy..

weeeeeeee.....

If loving u is about giving the whole soul of mine.. I am willing to do it.. I wouldnt climb the highest mountain nor swim the deepest ocean...But I will fly and carve ur name out of clouds to let people know ur name, the love of my life. I will explore the deepest cave till the center of the earth to burried my heart the and shall remain untouched from no others as U have touched mine and no one else would be able to tk the place but u..

I do love u very mush..u the love of my life.

life is fated the way it is....

Recently i have to work my ass off like hell.. 12 hours a day and 7 days a week. tht should be listed as labour torture. lolx. However, the feel and senses is coming back to me now. Before this I kept thinking what a director wanted my mtv to be.. this or that.. but now, i dun care anymore. It aint helping by thinking of what they wan and I cant do anything. So from now on, I will do things my way. My way of protreting the Music Clip to live. I know I can do it. I have to work hard in this.... I kinda accept the fact this is my life. My job. congrats to me. I finally admit it. I am married... to my job. bronze medals goes to me. I am running for silver and den gold!

Beside job, I feel tired myself. Mom got herself involve in acciedent. aunty Ivy and her wen to KL and on their way back, a stupid civic yellow and black wanted to over took them... hitted them and make their car ramp up to the divider and then tht car of tht stupid fellow turn 360 degree and acelerate and bang back my mom head to head... cause my mom enter HUKM. idiotic fellow. I dint know it till her fren called and ask " if u r going to visit ur mom?" I got shock tht time. I keep on asking wert happen to my mom. why do i have to go see her.. her fren kept insisting on not telling me. Damn tht time i feel so angry. I straight yelled at them. I am sorry. but then please understand. thats my mom.. one and only. don u think i have the right to know.. whether its good or bad.. mom also, please no matter wert how can u hide it from us... I would still know wen i reach home and see u not thr... I am not stupiak!!!

So far this few days i have been really tired, wif my hectic work loads, mom acciedent and sis sown with high fever. I have to tk care of everything... and I am feeling restless plus I think I am getting sick..lost my appetite. my eyes sore and as well as my mouth... it keeps bleeding which i dunno why. my spine is getting worst.. shit am i dying???

what worst more can attack me this week?? oh ya, plus realationship is wrecking... I know u are depress. i wish i could help. but wen i tell u wert u should do. u keen on staying on the decision u make for urself.. so wert do u wan me to say... i tried to console u by telling u to think ways differently. but all the while u only tell me... " go ahead and have fun wif ur frens" "its ok. don have to care about me" wth is all this.. pardon me for the languages... but then teach me wert can i do... all i can do i have done.. u are a big gal now.. u should know things better.. i dun wan wen ever i have to tell u wert to do.. yesh u can ask me for opionion. but ask urself wen have u listen to mine? wen u keen ondoing something u already went ahead. i already told u, this month it would be a rough road... i need to work hard...

so dear, please don give me anymore head ache or burden... i feel heavy enuf already. please dun give me the immature attitude which spoil brats does. u know we both having tough times now.. u say u urself would be very busy.. and says wanted time alone to finish of things.. yes i know u missed me... but then wen i dun reply doesnt mean i do it on purposely. u should know i am neither out of credit or away from phone... so please ok dear.... don throw the attitude like tht.

* hugs*

u big gal jor... should act like one.. muaks. u knw i have faith in u.. so u must continue to proceed to work harder on ur studies.. u promised me tht.. so dun break them.. if nt how are u gonna earn big money to feed me.. u should know I am very expensive Xp

Baby, I missed u..=(

This few weeks have been a tiring weeks for me. I have so many things and chaos to handle. Hais.. But then its not long and time r running short. 19th Sept 2009 or maybe earlier. I am going off to Australia..

1st month of spring.. weeee.... tempt will be around 20 to 25 cel.. i wonder how hot or cold can tht be.. sad na.. i wanted to experience wearing a snow cap all day long.... never mind i will have the chance.

1st destination, well of cos its the airport... muahaha, 2nd destination would be... hmmmm.... homie!!!! den do my stuff and den philip island... penguin penguin penguin...

However, i feel sad as well. I know whom I will miss. And definitely home sick... How can I bring the whole sunway togther wif me to Aussie?? hmmm.. if only i could... its okay.. what thy doesnt knw wont hurt...

I will only tell them last min before i fly la... I hope i am doing the right thing here

you are not alone~

Its been a long time i last wrote anything in here. Been pretty busy lately. Works, dogs, friends and gf.

How do love works? Can someone teach me? thy claim if u wana be wif someone. den be wif someone whom love u more then u love them.. but as the matter of fact, i felt tht is ridiculas plus its selfish. I prefer to be in love and be wif someone whom I love more den thy love me.

but i never thought it would be tht suffering. Seeing "Y" tht way, I am starting to think. Everything its not worth anymore. I tend to be afraid to have karma. but witout a deny i do love whom I love. Never did I once, even intend to hurt her or played her.

But then, hais its ok. I am nt having lubri for my brain tht seems nt working so well. So u are not alone~ whom feeling tht way. So wert even u love "K" tht much.. can she even feel it...

alious

cass

she is sad and I am heart broken

This is a story about a gal who named “Y”. after all she misses her so much. how in love could she be. to be wif someone who is older den her and most important tht gal is str8.

She honestly feel like crying out wen “K” finally nodded yes and though the relationship is being underground. But “Y” never feel ever happier den the way she is now. I can see tht spark in her eyes. She wakes up every morning, look into the mirror and tell herself to work harder everyday. she wants to earn more and more money to the extend whr she could buy anything to please “K”.

though “K” never did ask much, but then “Y” everyday taking sending her lunch as an excuse jst to see her lil angel for a few mins. wen she finally tk her guts to ask “K” did she loves her… “K” gave her a positive answer which “Y” long to hear for so long. she never knws tht answer kept her smiling thru the rain.

but then happy moment never always thr for her. “K” finally gives “Y” a cold shoulder again. “Y” did not knw where she did wrong.. She was hoping “K” would tell her.. but as usual, thr will be no reply.how can anything b so wrong wen they are okay a day ago..

“K” do u knw, she missed u alot till the extend where she dun feel like eating nor sleeping and keeping herself awake to receive msges from u.. she really loves u. miss u.

signing off,

Genesis

Wen Love is blind....

today they finally sat and she put all her guts and ask her if she is serious about it. and she just nodded. izzit a yes or she nodded jst for fun. well of cos i am happy for her if tht lady she loves finally agree even despite its for a wrong reason... but how wrong cn it be.. to be wif the woman she loves...

i wishes her, happiness and of cos treasure it cos i knw it will definally be a very short moment. but as long as thy are happy in the short momentum den i guess everything will be alright eh?

if only "K" knws tht she really loves her and willing to do everything for her.. I hope "K" doesnt tk her for granted. Seriously, i bet she don wan 2 fall back and hurt herself deeper then she is nw. My fren, I am happy u found happiness which u think it perhaps its true. but then in the reality, its still for a wrong reason. but yet i knw, As long u get the chance to be by her side u are satisfied enuf.

"Y" i hope u r happy as ever as nw "K" nodded yes. but then wert status of relationship r u guys in?? faster make it clear ok. . but then of cos one step at a time... one by one... things tht come too fast go away fast too.. so tk it slow may it will last longer or in fact forever....

to u "K"... "Y" loves u alot... can u hear her... she really loves u alot. ^.^

ishk

NOW ITS ALMOST 6 AM and i am nt feeling sleepy le.... how... but then some how i am feeling tired.

how r? my brain cant think anymore le.. i will just upload pictures la.. muahahahaha.

i like infact love my white sweater. hahaha..

somehow i jst read someone's blog. hais... cmon is the past i dunno why still ppl wan2 tk tht and argue. v have not done anything... wert else ppl accusing me ONE NIGHT STAND wif her? MY GOD this is so foolish!

arghhh... watever la, its ppl mouth i knw i dint do it tht is fine already. i do no wrong wert else on harm...

here is the plan.....

well, dear i dunno if u will complain or nt about the acco... but then i only wish to tell u. tht on tht day we reach thr is alot travellers going to langkawi. so we got out of choices... hoping u will be patience ok or nt??

got a chalet. i found it pretty interesting... very the kampung feel and its right on the beach. i dunno i find kampung houses very very relaxing.. well, bt then of cos the room is wif air cond.. so izzit ok for u?

well, here is the plan and budget...

v r going to langkawi on the 25th night which means v will reach thr at 26th morning.

i will help u on the bus tickets so u dun have to worry about thr.

the chalet is 70 per night. so means will be 140 for 2 nights. and divide and be shared by two of us... hmmm.... and the car will be 60 for a day which means 120 for the whole trip and will be only 30 per person. so thr goes a 100. oh ya forgot about the ferry fees wen v reach. i think its 15...so both way for thru n fore will be 30. total amount so far = 130

weeeeeee

so a budget of 250 is more then enuff lorr
hahaha

hmmm... i guess i will see u on 25th noon? v go kai kai ler... den after tht, go trip!!!!

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Finally.....

I realised tht how insecure I am towards to people. I dun understand wen the 1st place wert is wrong... we talked earlier on the phone. I thought about letting u understand the person in me. u said u wan to knw more and understand me. but then wen i let u knw, u tend to have the wrong msg.

I dint realised tht u got it all wrong till i read the blog of urs. u kept claiming i aint loving u enuf. u claim i dun giv u the whole me. not even a 50%. do u think tht love cn be a measurement? u asked me to care for u more. i wish to but i think i failed. u asked me how deep my love is there for u.. i told u we wont be candle burning from 2 ends. yes its true i am saying i wouldn tell u tht i love u as deep as sea nor higher then mountain. tht is all sweet talking. i aint gonna do tht towards u. as it will only be a saying.
u asked me if i like u... i say no.. cos i do love u. but then came to my notice u judge me. u say u were diff from all the gals i knw. but then u dint realise, now u r exactly like them. u send me into death sentence wif out seeing both understanding of situation.

i perhaps should be upset, i should be crying by now. i jst dint knw why i dint. in fact i feel dissapointed, dissapointed in u do not understand me on wert i was thinking.

if quek and ur ex can give u more on wert u wan, den i am so sorry tht i came in between, den let me be the one whom step aside. but then again i do love u. YUKI CHUN ! do u hear me?

I dunno wert m I thinking lately.... MY brain dun seems to work and yet my mentally spirit is really really low... Maybe due to sleepless nights..havent been sleeping real nice and deep for dis pass a week...

You told me tht u felt lack of love, tht u dun have faith in me. Well, if tht is so i felt better v give each other a break. to be honest, i dunno. Maybe she loves u more den I do. She gaves u everything u need to feel... U kept asking me if I love u..I couldn find the words to convince u.. I dunno perhaps I do everything by action...

I duno have to show nor say wenever I show my action. I dun think there is a need in tht. To me I think, everything jst need to be silently..

I got upset wen i noe it. but wert can i do if thts wert u think.. if the way i am loving u is wrong den let me knw wert is the right way to loves u...

yuki, i am really tired i dunno wert to do anymore......

Recently I am clueless and frustrated. I have alot of stuff to think about and yet a lil time to manage them.

I have finished my 4 eps project another 9 eps I am passing it to Syilah.. SAD but relief actually. I am jst nt really ready yet. 2 sundays i have been working my ass out.. wen can i get a real nice break and holiday??

I wan2 lay back, relax and watch TV the whole day.. listen to some songs and den get myself to the mall without need to think wat time izzit...

I finally cut my hair shorter well, its been a week ago I cut my hair..















(U) picture of me wif my new hair style
(D) Me and Cynthia (my sis)




You kept asking me if I love u? If I really do love u? u say u wan2 know, but I never know in return, Do u really love me... and able to accept the bad and good side of me... wert if I am cacat cannot walk or etc* touchwood* will u still love me?

If only...

I am feeling sick.. my eyes sore, as well as my throat. but it couldn beat the pain in the heart. I feel damn useless wen I couldnt say the things I wanted to. Ended up I only make situation worst. Yeay I knw, thts me.

My heart guilt and pain overwhelmed by the jealousy I guess. Oh bothers...All I can do is wish I make a wise decision by letting her off. Though I do love her. But I cant let eveything hanging can I, I am happy wen she show she cares for me, she misses. tht sweet melodies... NONE will understand. But then I felt like I m a third party. Eventhough thr is no relationship going on in between us..

As I promised to Jess I went to supperclub after work. I am very tired. Like I mention, every part of me is aching and soring.. But thinking I make a promised. So I went.

Well, alot people is thr. I can see Vantric, Xiao Bao, Xiao Ba, Xiao Xin, Black, n yesh Devil is thr as well... Ishk...Its nt tht I hated her. Its only I think tht she couldn be trust. I dun mind if she is nt paying me my RM 50. its only 50. I can tk it as a treat to u. But problem is you promised but then wen its time for u to pay me up u kept giving excuces. I dun mind if u tell me tht u have no money to pay.. but then jst be honest to kept telling me this n tht.

I send selyn back. haha dint knw I could be able to see her thr. She is afraid tht she will be in trouble. I understand her fear wen she knws her driver took drugs..

I wan2 go and tk a nap. Its sunday, and yesh.... I HAVE TO WORK..*applause*

My special Dedication... just for u

yup... I simply love this songs alot... wanted to share it wif u...


We were both young, when I first saw you.
I close my eyes and the flashback starts-
I'm standing there, on a balcony in summer air.

I see the lights; see the party, the ball gowns.
I see you make your way through the crowd-
and say hello, little did I know...

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles-
And my daddy said "stay away from Juliet"-
And I was crying on the staircase-
begging you please don't go...
And I said...

Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess,
It's a love story, baby, just say yes.

So I sneak out to the garden to see you.
We keep quiet, because we're dead if they knew-
So close your eyes... escape this town for a little while.
Oh, Oh.

Cause you were Romeo - I was a scarlet letter,
And my daddy said "stay away from Juliet" -
but you were everything to me-
I was begging you, please don't go-
And I said...

Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess.
It's a love story, baby, just say yes-

Romeo save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel.
This love is difficult, but it's real.
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess.
It's a love story, baby, just say yes.
Oh, Oh.

I got tired of waiting.
Wondering if you were ever coming around.
My faith in you was fading-
When I met you on the outskirts of town.
And I said...

Romeo save me, I've been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting, for you but you never come.
Is this in my head, I don't know what to think-
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said...

Marry me Juliet, you'll never have to be alone.
I love you, and that's all I really know.
I talked to your dad -- go pick out a white dress
It's a love story, baby just say... yes.
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh.

'cause we were both young when I first saw you
PS: I miss u ><

LAGUNA and thy attempts

Well, after back from Laguna I started online project. Damn I am so stressed out almost cried.

But however 3 days 2 nights in Laguna is very relaxing.. 1st day wen arrive I only sleep.. zzz.. cos very tired. and den we went for BBQ buffet dinner. Food thr is nt as good as I expeccted. Den we went for a walk before going back to my room to receive tortured.. They wan2 make me drunk. 1st attempt. Fail!!! thy got blur before I do.

2nd day...

Val shock me went she tries to wake me up. Went i open my eyes, her face is only 3 to 5 cm away from mine. I str8 away turn my body around to another side and scream.lolx. den she hugged me from the back and den asleep for a few mins then wake up and prepare to go for breakfast.

Went to Marine Park after breakfast. Snorkelling... beautiful fishes....and corals... but then got a few cuts on my knees due to the dead corals.

after tht went back to Laguna get a shower and den go for lunch, and after tht wen to deep sea to snorkel again... yerrr i wan2 go scuba... so bad.. but its expensive na.. RM 160 just for equip.. wait wait till i keep enuff 1st next time.

its a tired day, came back for dinner den again thy do 2nd attempt to attack me... and guess wert since i cant stand beer... i think 2 and the half i KO. congrats.. I only remember I refuse to go breakfast the next day.. lolx...

but then now its only a memory...la~la~la~... GAMBATTE CASS~ stand up and face the challange.. I CAN DO IT. SO DO U, YUKI.. GAMBATTE ok ok.. wait till u finish exam and come back we go kai kai...and hug u tightly ^^

Its The Final Count Down

12 hours more I am taking the flight.. yeay yeay....But then I guess I will be very tired wen I am back in KL i mean schedule is so pack.. sighz...

I wanna go pack pack and do final checking now..

I was hoping to talk to u before I leave but then seems like u r so busy cant talk to me and etc.. but ts ok..i hope i can convince myself its ok den feeling sad...

I M sick

I dunno wert happen today. Since yesterday my stomach turn inside out.. Went in to the toilet a few times in office.. And even today. I dunno wert to eat for dinner ended up I only took 2 cans of tomato juice.. yum yum..

Dubbing VO wif Janelle.. Gosh she is pretty, funny and friendly. Den do pitching wif Jo, my apple pie. ^.^ she kept laughing at me. So bad.. I knw I am nt tht serious time.. But then I am nt tht playful neither Jo.

Till now, my stomach still upset down inside out.. sighz.. even worst I feel my body heat and I am feeling dizzy.. really dizzy even now.. I guess i need to go to bed.. I dun wan2 fall sick.

NO!!!!!!

I hated it ALOT

Today went to office as usual had dinner. Again Japanese Food. Damn. Cos they wanted to eat the porridge over thr. So, I have my ramen. Well, eating I was wondering about her. Yesh, I tried to msg out. Damn the phone. I am nt sure why I have credit i can call but nt being able to send out msg.

I dunno wert is wrong in between us. I knw we r frens. Infact, I just dun like it wenever she say go kao lui and dis and tht. Its neither U dun understand wert I am going thru or wert..I am love being loved by u. being missed by u. I do not request us being an item. but please dun push me around. I M NT A BALL. It actually irratates me wen u act dis way. I do not wish to lash out on u nor anything. but I cant help it. I am sorry.

Valerie announce tht I am going to tk over the MTV as online. To be honest i dun have confidence. I am still thinking izzit a good idea. I know I have to be happy and blessed about this. But I am worry if I am nt up to expectation. Val, u knw I am over stressed easily. but I cant tell u tht can I. I dun wan to upset U nor Ho. but most of all, i dun think I can bear this failure. I am afraid now.. I am really afraid. Fear which I have to hide. No one will understand nor know. No one will.

Meanwhile, Bi, I mish u much. alot. to the extend I am going weak. My love for u aint changing. But going stronger and stronger everyday. How I wish I could see and her ur laughter wenever I am down nor upset. u r the charger to my battery of life. aikxxxzz, tht sounded kinda weird to be a metaphor eh. U have been my saviour wen I am dead and helpless. U meant the world to me. Don leave me helpless over here...i miss u.. where r u?

tired~~

Sunday went to JLN Ipoh go get terter's motor. ==" ya, i ride her motor back all the way to pyramid. Damn scary I last ride a motor was like on 4 years back..Almost lost control a few times. But lucky thing I manage to control it. So took way from Duke Highway cut thru to Hartamas, den from thr cut thru to PJ. But then got motor road block damn.. str8 U turn.

Den run to bao bei (selly)'s house. lolx. after tht went back to pyramid using old klang road. Haiz..

Den yesterday having monday blue.went to office so down. No room somemore... haiz.. ended up den to lvl 2 alone.. so scary..

I dun wan2 see u sad nor stress. It hurts me wen u r. U knw I am willing to share and even let u lashes out on me. No matter wert I am standing here..wif u..

As I pormised...

Well, the post earlier, I said thr is smt interesting happened. LOLx. I went to pick up Selly at night in Barcelona, Guess wert? Thr is a Gal took off her BRA and CLOTHES!!!! MY GOD.. just cos a guy gave her RM 100. Wert a shame...

Hmm... Yesterday, I work from 6 pm till the next day 10 am only chow from office. Damn tired till now... only get to sleep for 4 hours.. den need to get back to office.. at 6pm till 3 am.. now only got home. Stupid. the programme called WESAK DAY. I think now I wan2 go cut bold and become a monk/nun.

Ho and Yap so bad.. say if I cut botak thy will help me make 6 dot on my head.

Today all ppl in office damn stress.. So i kept singing and laughing to make them laugh. Pity Valerie and Samantha. Scare me today Samantha smoke, Val also. So i accompany them talk to them and talk crap. make them laugh. Then Ho, told me al wear G- STRING. I was like"really really? Dun believe" den Ho ask me to touch and see. I was like NO. den Val say touch la.. hahaha. Den I poke her on her ass.. lolx. Den I told her.."mmmm, very tendering" lolx

Den wen back tht time she called and say she misses me. LOLx. Val, Val.... later Benard kill me how??!!!! LOLx..

ps: I know how somethings sometimes hurts u. But then U gotta stand up tall and FIGHT. I have faith in u, yuki-chan lolx.

yesterday

Yesterday all my trouble seem so far away... lolx. not really. yesterday morning I was being poke by 9 needles.. wif voltages.. lol.

Nothing much happen actually. Den Yap and me kept pulling Valerie to have dinner wif us. Pity Sam she just finish her shift just now. Damn she work 20 hours le... so sad.. I guess today she must be off... sobs then no one will be having dinner wif me jor lor... sad case.. sad case.. eat alone...

now gtg office liau.. guess i will update more after work tonight. alot of things happen this morning.... wait till i am back I will upload all of it here....

Feeling down and falling into deep depths of well.

I woke up today feeling blue. I wish myself r a lil more happy then yesterday. but seems like I am nt. I felt my heart pounding fast and yet slow at the same time. I got a heart burn. My back pain as if thr r needles poking thru it. So i decided to tk a break from work today.

Went over to pyramid, saw Irene. however in the fact, my mind is thinking about yuki all the time. I was happy enuf wen she msged me. Looking at Irene, i felt my life hav been wasted. I waited a year and plus and yet we remain as stranger at times. I feel down again. I dint knw y i dun wan2 walk and say hi to her. Terter ask me Y dun i go over and say HI. I wish to but my heart stop me from doing it. It hurts me everytime wen I see her. But i have to face the fact tht I love her and this person exist. eventhough i am letting her go slowly but things and memories about her hunts me down. I saw her smiling so happily, but it was never for me. I turn and look the other way. God knws how mush I am almost breaking into tears.

Wanted to go hospital, but dint manage to go. Oh bother! I wish I am dead. I strive so hard but yet I am a failure. So y bother to be heal.

Wen to AC wif jez,sammi,knompy and terter I dint expect Xin coming. I did a mistake, I shouldnt have told her. Yeah, maybe the fact tht the way she thinks and I think is diff. But then I cant deny the fact tht xin is a fren of mine too. And nw she is angry, Cass~ Cass wen only will u gonna tell her. you wanted her. want her to be happy? wan her day and night? listen to her voice, listen to her laughter. but it all doesnt matters, cos she aint feeling tht ways towards u.

Is she even feeling the same for u as u feel for her.. y izzit hard for u to say the words " will u be mine?" I knw I am afraid. I cant afford to loose this gal even as a fren. but if one day, if this gal no longer exist in my mind, I only wanted to wish her " Happy Valentine" cos she remain a very special place, here in my heart. And I hope, everyday is a Valentine as this is the day where u would show extra loves, appreciations and cares. Cos no matter if u r wif her, I wish u both happy always. And yes, I love u. but I cant afford to loose. So let me end this feelings of wert I felt before its too late.

signing off,
Enigma.

Hair Cut Day

Today I AM pretty tired. Woke up at 10 am wen I slept at 6am.. Terter say Sammi went into hospital cos she accident yesterday. So, she went x-stray. Terter reach my house around 12.30pm. I was kinda blur. Went and pick Selly up cos she also wan2 go cut hair. lolx say wan2 cut TB hair wor she... bt tht stylish told her she doesn suit short hair. so she dint cut. muahahahahahahahaha *evil laughter* i told her a dy yesterday she dun wan2 listen to me. wan me to scold only she say see 1st. ended up fated cannot cut.lolx

Called yuki earlier b4 I go cut my hair. Just a quick few chats. I misses her alot. Her laughter also ease my probs away.. *wink* Cant wait to go get a Roti tissue wif her. KLCC height!

Knompy wear so formal today. lolx. White long sleeves, a black slack and tie and a skin shoe. Guess wert is she working as... Selling dog biscuit. muahahaha.. I am nt laughing cos of her job I m laughing cos she look so funny. plus she was sucking a pacifier. lolx. Racheal bought it for her. I should have tk a pic eh.. too bad i dint.

If only i realised it earlier....

Sam Sam Eating Happily
TQ Yap for getting sweat over u just to tk tis lil wings for us.

Sunday, my only day to get a rest, however was being pulled to shop. Sobs.

1st wen to "paste de gohan" ate wif sam and yap. den I went and buy bread for her. And not to forget a piece of fruit! Bought 2 short pants. "Be Element" Cheap cheap only~~ =p

Den we headed to GJ for a drink. Den we went to yuen yuen buffet feast. Wen thr at 5.30pm and den 7 pm rush back to pyramid again. And AGAIN~ to gj meet up her for a drink. Wen buy dinner and mini cup cakes wif her. DEn i rush back to yuen yuen, later on Val already thr eating happily...

DOne wif tht, i went pick up terter in Damansara. Giler her car over heated. Wen to KLCC and pick up Selly and Mei Mei. Went Sing K. When I am at KLCC, I missed someone. COs i remember the Roti Tissue she said.

However, too bad. Its not a bit I am late. But too late. To be honest, if things doesnt work out I think I would be happy. I just dunno y. Forget it. Its too late to grief over. She is now happily thr wif another half. Wert would she cares if I am nt going to contact her again right...

blame it on no one but myself nt realising earlier.

sleepless night

*geez* i have been sleepless for this few weeks. I feel restless and tired. Sie Knompy, talk to her on the phone for more den an hour. Si kedekut punya lao gong. Dare to say ownself gentlement kononnya. lolx. Call me and den ask me to call back..

Today she go lagoon thr and work. Yesterday I send Bi a msg saying I missed her. In my suprise she did reply towards my msg. LOLx Even though she is nt saying tht she missed me. saying smt else.

I feel damn hungry nw... its saturday!!!!! and i have to work later. Pik chik man!

3 more weeks

My back bone is still not completely heal. Sighz. ended up dint went back to penang. damn sad. I misses all things in penang.

Went shopphing and movie wif Valerie,Samantha n Yap thy all on Sunday. Watched Talentime.nice movie. Funny but alot of things u have to go figure urself. lolx. That movie very local feel. wif all the languages and foul words.. lolx.. but then beautiful love stories among frens and family.. =)

3 more weeks, I am flying off already... =P cant wait.

(L:Yap R: Knompy. Pencuri stealing nut)

Saturday, wert a day

Its saturday today, finally a holiday for me!!! yeay yeay... somehow i feel pretty sad. She dun really like me calling her. Well, i knw la it cost alot. But i still can afford lerrr... Calling to melbourne cost 90cent per mins... i knw i did say my bill raising high... but then as a fren I called u sincerely..

I dunno wert came into ur mind wen u say u r nt worth. Tht word "worth" hurts me the most. Y do u even measure ur own worth... Whether r u or r u nt to me... let me measure it ok.. u dun ave to worry about a thing.

if being fren is talkting about the worthness in each other then there is no point in being frens then

1st day of the month

ITS APRIL FOOL DAY. I HATE IT.. cos i cant fool ppl wan.. so sad instead I always get fooled...

I wonder how now... I am so looking forward for REDANG!!!!!!!! i wan2 see shark.. dunno get to drink shark fin soup or nt. lolx..

Today just another ordinary day actually. Just back from work. Transfer a movie by Sheila Rusly. Restu Mertua. The plot is nice to be honest.. Its not the other typical malay movie. But then its kinda touch and go feel. Perhaps watever tht need to be feel is not enough but then scene that shouldn be too detail its too details.

I cant wait to transfer the movie called "DONUT" I am sure its gonna be a hit. Talks about PONDAN's. Malaysia needs more this type of touch actually. I mean c'mon its nt cos I am Lesb i support PLU. Its just tht, this society its already wide open now. So people should actually learn more and more to accept them..

Just another ordinary day

Well, just back from work.. its 0330 now.. watching stomp the yard on HBO.. I only like the final competition. Like their effecs!!

Well, its almost 0630 in melbourne i guess.. Is she awake yet?? hmmm... kinda worried since her presentation is later after lunch hours which she is nt even fully ready. However, I wish for her success ler... Chun Yi Fen, i have faith in u.. lolx..I guess she dun even knw I remember her real name eh...

just nw in the office, my hand was numb... cos cold.. seriously numb.. its like i am going thru winter without gloves..

My back is getting worst and worst..sighz

However, on my way back home from office I manage to drop by to get some fries!! yeay!! I ask tht guy if I needed to wait for my fries. He say "No, baru masak" which means they jst cooked it.. I was so hoping for it. I mean if i dun hear they say just cooked. I am so gonna order fries without salt! which means they have to fried it for me. And I will have extra extra fresh from the pot or watever they r called. lolx

back here chatted wif my cousin who is nw in USA.Is she even my cousin? I mean her mom is my mom aunty? or cousin? complicated. Oh well, bother.lolx. she is a fun gal to chat wif. pity her, dint get to sleep need to finish her paper work. now only she wanted to go get some sleep.

Tying!! u should ler... If nt later ur prof will think u r making research on panda from china. lolx.

I cant wait for another holiday!

Fillet for breakfast!!!

Terter and Her 2nd Sis who is only 15 (emily) bt pandai clubbin dy

Terter and her both Sis wen thy r young so cute

its 1040 on 30th March 2009, I woke up and make myself a not so healthy breakfast!!!

3 pieces of pasific fish fillet, 4 pieces of shrimp gyoza and a cup of icy cold water.. which now leading me to cough even harder..

Wandee woke me up this morning. Cilakak, see la nw cannot go back to sleep jor. Well, I should have guessed actually She called to apologize. Well, wandee a.k.a Kairyuzai!! Ur apology accepted.. Geez I mean I still cant forget hw immature a 28 years old TB would be.. I mean if she wan to screwed up and pretend to be... "i M the boss, wtf u called my gf for??" den dun hang up before listen to ppl's respond. Bro, tht is so coward!!! Chicken out. Ur GF (dun even knw even if she is) is even better and bravier then u for heaven sake!!!

Well, yesterday went over to terter's mom house...gosh both her sis r *wheeeww, God can find words for me, BEAUTIFUL!" Lolx, we manage to look at terter's young age pict.. in swimsuits and dress!!! lolx.. so cute.

Well, since Knompy now got curfew, so we headed home before 2! hehehe...I am a good kid aint i? now its 11 am already, 7 hours more I am going to work. should I go to pyramid 1st? Thinking on buying food for her. I knw she is nt in mood this few days, but i do not knw the ways and reason for me to care anymore..

well, i guess just follow the flow then =p

Earth Hour

Well,i dint manage to get a good sleep after all. I woke up about 2 hours after i try to dooze off?

Went to MidValley wif mom and sis. Nothing interesting actually. But then somehow when I reach office. Me and the otehrs were talking about earth hour.. How the hell we are gonna support if the Boss refuse to turn off all electrics? lolx.. Our server is our main brain. Cannot be off.

Wel, least I off my office suite's lights, toilet lights, living room as well. We went out for dinner quite early. Around 7.30. Was thinking Shiaks... will the lift be off too? I was pretty afraid it will be.

Well, i transfer tapes and work wifout lights on.. but some how I turn on the air cond. Ho' say wats the point off-in the lights wen the main cause is on.... Well, he got a point right thr. Sighz, so we off the air cond. Wwll, that is the max we can support eh...

On my way back, tak tau mana all the rempit rempit comes from.. alot of them. Hated them. if we bang them we salah, thy bang us also we sala... sighz...

My back is getting worst and worst.. even my cough.. Till i am left wif no strenght to do the coughing anymore. Now I cant even stand str8 nor walk.. Getting worst. wat if I really need an operation???!!!!!!!

Heal ME!!!!!!

Pilot

Well, seems like I am kinda into blogging lately. So i decided to start back this empty but long created blog of mine.. Lolx. thank to my best fren Angeline..

Lolx, she is the one who makes me feel like I am so gonna get a blogger.

As the starter of this blog, I am thinking of wert should I write. Hmmm... wert am I perhaps?

Well, we human being dun even knw wert are we. However I am glad that I am being loved. By my friends, my family and of cos less bt nt least, my DOG. lolx.

I am just a particular normal human being healthy borned. Thank God for that. I am blessed wif a nice career though to admit I sux in studies. I enjoy having my friends around me whenever I m in the mood. I have mood swing regulary. So my friends who knows me well, they know wert to do.

For all this 21 years, I am glad I found Angeline, Phui Leng, Khai Sin and the rest in my life. Pass thru alot of up and downs wif them.

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Khai Sin, someone I know almost my entire life. I know her when I am 5. My first friend when I enter kindergarden wif her. We use to be very competitive over wif the boys back then. But unfortunately, I only last a year there wif her. I change kindergarden. However, in God's will I meet her back in primary and den together v pass thru our secondary years.

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Phui Leng, one I know here since we r 7. though i am nt tht close to her at times. But there is something right we r clicking all along the way. and of cos no deny she is the happiest among all of us. Blessed wif romance. My God, how can she handle it that well?

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Last but not least, Angeline, though I know her last. When we are 10, we get along pretty fast and well. In some ways, she is the one I cried on, laugh wif and do lotsa crazy stuff together. Even back in times, when I hurt her so badly in few things, she always forgive me. I remember how we go to the beach at night, walkin back wif only my t shirt on witout pants!!! that is the best part. Everyone is looking at us. LOLx. How naive we r back then and slowly grow up. Through the pain and gain. For some reason we have alot in common. I could never ask for more in a friend on wat she has given to me.

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However,in life, no one will stick wif u for an entire life. I moved to KL from Penang. No deny we dun contact as much as we use to. But somehow, we all know we remain a special place in hearts.

So wert am I again? I am someone to everyone. LoLx. Blessed with all the Angels around me.