How much longer can a person stand due to her failure? fail to love someone and to get love in return? How much longer can sacrifices be make by a side and not both? how much longer will she get sick of it, knowing no matter how much she has sacrifices, its only empty hope she is getting?
It started wen the day they were together till the very end of it. or should i say its not the end yet? how can it be the end wen she struggle hard to let the relationship works out? she meet her today, and have a few moment wif her. she notice the ring that she wore on her hand isnt thr.. so izzit true she is not lying to her.. no one knows.. how can anyone knows wen their relationship in underground and cannot be seen in the crowd.. pardon me for saying not even, wen thy are alone in public... so how much longer will only u be awake? pardon me for saying, u refuse to let her go. but izzit true she is that important to u? if half of u urself dun trust her enuff... how deep is ur love for her u claime u r into her?
u work that hard.. yet u gave out ur money to her that easily.. i know that few hundreds isnt a big amount.. but u can do so much more wif it.. u claime u love her... but how much she loves u in return.. u know it.. but yet u refuse to wake up.. this is nightmare, not a sweet dream nor fairytales... nothing will comes with happy ending always...
u dun have much time to more.. make up ur mind.. if she is gonna be the love of ur life..
signing off,
ur shadow...
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
The worst or The Best?
Well, yesterday morning in the worst day ever... My car engine K.O.. something about the gear.. thy tune my engine too high up. so i was driving without pressing anything.. hmmm.... den later on at noon, I got involved in an accident.. a minor one.. but major damage to my car. cause my car door can be open.. so i have to climb from the other door to enter my car. swt... Tht stupiak indian guy reverse n den bang me... yet no apologise but then he scolded me. say why i park thr. idiot!!!! how cn u claim i park wen my engine isnt off and i dint even get down from my car yet.. arsehole!
later on, everything get smoother... went for a movie, den go shopping... later on at 7 pm! *wink * lucky me... get to shop for shower cap, moon cake and bread. aiyo thy look so cute plus delicious! yummy..
weeeeeeee.....
If loving u is about giving the whole soul of mine.. I am willing to do it.. I wouldnt climb the highest mountain nor swim the deepest ocean...But I will fly and carve ur name out of clouds to let people know ur name, the love of my life. I will explore the deepest cave till the center of the earth to burried my heart the and shall remain untouched from no others as U have touched mine and no one else would be able to tk the place but u..
I do love u very mush..u the love of my life.
later on, everything get smoother... went for a movie, den go shopping... later on at 7 pm! *wink * lucky me... get to shop for shower cap, moon cake and bread. aiyo thy look so cute plus delicious! yummy..
weeeeeeee.....
If loving u is about giving the whole soul of mine.. I am willing to do it.. I wouldnt climb the highest mountain nor swim the deepest ocean...But I will fly and carve ur name out of clouds to let people know ur name, the love of my life. I will explore the deepest cave till the center of the earth to burried my heart the and shall remain untouched from no others as U have touched mine and no one else would be able to tk the place but u..
I do love u very mush..u the love of my life.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
life is fated the way it is....
Recently i have to work my ass off like hell.. 12 hours a day and 7 days a week. tht should be listed as labour torture. lolx. However, the feel and senses is coming back to me now. Before this I kept thinking what a director wanted my mtv to be.. this or that.. but now, i dun care anymore. It aint helping by thinking of what they wan and I cant do anything. So from now on, I will do things my way. My way of protreting the Music Clip to live. I know I can do it. I have to work hard in this.... I kinda accept the fact this is my life. My job. congrats to me. I finally admit it. I am married... to my job. bronze medals goes to me. I am running for silver and den gold!
Beside job, I feel tired myself. Mom got herself involve in acciedent. aunty Ivy and her wen to KL and on their way back, a stupid civic yellow and black wanted to over took them... hitted them and make their car ramp up to the divider and then tht car of tht stupid fellow turn 360 degree and acelerate and bang back my mom head to head... cause my mom enter HUKM. idiotic fellow. I dint know it till her fren called and ask " if u r going to visit ur mom?" I got shock tht time. I keep on asking wert happen to my mom. why do i have to go see her.. her fren kept insisting on not telling me. Damn tht time i feel so angry. I straight yelled at them. I am sorry. but then please understand. thats my mom.. one and only. don u think i have the right to know.. whether its good or bad.. mom also, please no matter wert how can u hide it from us... I would still know wen i reach home and see u not thr... I am not stupiak!!!
So far this few days i have been really tired, wif my hectic work loads, mom acciedent and sis sown with high fever. I have to tk care of everything... and I am feeling restless plus I think I am getting sick..lost my appetite. my eyes sore and as well as my mouth... it keeps bleeding which i dunno why. my spine is getting worst.. shit am i dying???
what worst more can attack me this week?? oh ya, plus realationship is wrecking... I know u are depress. i wish i could help. but wen i tell u wert u should do. u keen on staying on the decision u make for urself.. so wert do u wan me to say... i tried to console u by telling u to think ways differently. but all the while u only tell me... " go ahead and have fun wif ur frens" "its ok. don have to care about me" wth is all this.. pardon me for the languages... but then teach me wert can i do... all i can do i have done.. u are a big gal now.. u should know things better.. i dun wan wen ever i have to tell u wert to do.. yesh u can ask me for opionion. but ask urself wen have u listen to mine? wen u keen ondoing something u already went ahead. i already told u, this month it would be a rough road... i need to work hard...
so dear, please don give me anymore head ache or burden... i feel heavy enuf already. please dun give me the immature attitude which spoil brats does. u know we both having tough times now.. u say u urself would be very busy.. and says wanted time alone to finish of things.. yes i know u missed me... but then wen i dun reply doesnt mean i do it on purposely. u should know i am neither out of credit or away from phone... so please ok dear.... don throw the attitude like tht.
* hugs*
u big gal jor... should act like one.. muaks. u knw i have faith in u.. so u must continue to proceed to work harder on ur studies.. u promised me tht.. so dun break them.. if nt how are u gonna earn big money to feed me.. u should know I am very expensive Xp
Beside job, I feel tired myself. Mom got herself involve in acciedent. aunty Ivy and her wen to KL and on their way back, a stupid civic yellow and black wanted to over took them... hitted them and make their car ramp up to the divider and then tht car of tht stupid fellow turn 360 degree and acelerate and bang back my mom head to head... cause my mom enter HUKM. idiotic fellow. I dint know it till her fren called and ask " if u r going to visit ur mom?" I got shock tht time. I keep on asking wert happen to my mom. why do i have to go see her.. her fren kept insisting on not telling me. Damn tht time i feel so angry. I straight yelled at them. I am sorry. but then please understand. thats my mom.. one and only. don u think i have the right to know.. whether its good or bad.. mom also, please no matter wert how can u hide it from us... I would still know wen i reach home and see u not thr... I am not stupiak!!!
So far this few days i have been really tired, wif my hectic work loads, mom acciedent and sis sown with high fever. I have to tk care of everything... and I am feeling restless plus I think I am getting sick..lost my appetite. my eyes sore and as well as my mouth... it keeps bleeding which i dunno why. my spine is getting worst.. shit am i dying???
what worst more can attack me this week?? oh ya, plus realationship is wrecking... I know u are depress. i wish i could help. but wen i tell u wert u should do. u keen on staying on the decision u make for urself.. so wert do u wan me to say... i tried to console u by telling u to think ways differently. but all the while u only tell me... " go ahead and have fun wif ur frens" "its ok. don have to care about me" wth is all this.. pardon me for the languages... but then teach me wert can i do... all i can do i have done.. u are a big gal now.. u should know things better.. i dun wan wen ever i have to tell u wert to do.. yesh u can ask me for opionion. but ask urself wen have u listen to mine? wen u keen ondoing something u already went ahead. i already told u, this month it would be a rough road... i need to work hard...
so dear, please don give me anymore head ache or burden... i feel heavy enuf already. please dun give me the immature attitude which spoil brats does. u know we both having tough times now.. u say u urself would be very busy.. and says wanted time alone to finish of things.. yes i know u missed me... but then wen i dun reply doesnt mean i do it on purposely. u should know i am neither out of credit or away from phone... so please ok dear.... don throw the attitude like tht.
* hugs*
u big gal jor... should act like one.. muaks. u knw i have faith in u.. so u must continue to proceed to work harder on ur studies.. u promised me tht.. so dun break them.. if nt how are u gonna earn big money to feed me.. u should know I am very expensive Xp
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Baby, I missed u..=(
This few weeks have been a tiring weeks for me. I have so many things and chaos to handle. Hais.. But then its not long and time r running short. 19th Sept 2009 or maybe earlier. I am going off to Australia..
1st month of spring.. weeee.... tempt will be around 20 to 25 cel.. i wonder how hot or cold can tht be.. sad na.. i wanted to experience wearing a snow cap all day long.... never mind i will have the chance.
1st destination, well of cos its the airport... muahaha, 2nd destination would be... hmmmm.... homie!!!! den do my stuff and den philip island... penguin penguin penguin...
However, i feel sad as well. I know whom I will miss. And definitely home sick... How can I bring the whole sunway togther wif me to Aussie?? hmmm.. if only i could... its okay.. what thy doesnt knw wont hurt...
I will only tell them last min before i fly la... I hope i am doing the right thing here
1st month of spring.. weeee.... tempt will be around 20 to 25 cel.. i wonder how hot or cold can tht be.. sad na.. i wanted to experience wearing a snow cap all day long.... never mind i will have the chance.
1st destination, well of cos its the airport... muahaha, 2nd destination would be... hmmmm.... homie!!!! den do my stuff and den philip island... penguin penguin penguin...
However, i feel sad as well. I know whom I will miss. And definitely home sick... How can I bring the whole sunway togther wif me to Aussie?? hmmm.. if only i could... its okay.. what thy doesnt knw wont hurt...
I will only tell them last min before i fly la... I hope i am doing the right thing here
Thursday, July 9, 2009
you are not alone~
Its been a long time i last wrote anything in here. Been pretty busy lately. Works, dogs, friends and gf.
How do love works? Can someone teach me? thy claim if u wana be wif someone. den be wif someone whom love u more then u love them.. but as the matter of fact, i felt tht is ridiculas plus its selfish. I prefer to be in love and be wif someone whom I love more den thy love me.
but i never thought it would be tht suffering. Seeing "Y" tht way, I am starting to think. Everything its not worth anymore. I tend to be afraid to have karma. but witout a deny i do love whom I love. Never did I once, even intend to hurt her or played her.
But then, hais its ok. I am nt having lubri for my brain tht seems nt working so well. So u are not alone~ whom feeling tht way. So wert even u love "K" tht much.. can she even feel it...
alious
cass
How do love works? Can someone teach me? thy claim if u wana be wif someone. den be wif someone whom love u more then u love them.. but as the matter of fact, i felt tht is ridiculas plus its selfish. I prefer to be in love and be wif someone whom I love more den thy love me.
but i never thought it would be tht suffering. Seeing "Y" tht way, I am starting to think. Everything its not worth anymore. I tend to be afraid to have karma. but witout a deny i do love whom I love. Never did I once, even intend to hurt her or played her.
But then, hais its ok. I am nt having lubri for my brain tht seems nt working so well. So u are not alone~ whom feeling tht way. So wert even u love "K" tht much.. can she even feel it...
alious
cass
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
she is sad and I am heart broken
This is a story about a gal who named “Y”. after all she misses her so much. how in love could she be. to be wif someone who is older den her and most important tht gal is str8.
She honestly feel like crying out wen “K” finally nodded yes and though the relationship is being underground. But “Y” never feel ever happier den the way she is now. I can see tht spark in her eyes. She wakes up every morning, look into the mirror and tell herself to work harder everyday. she wants to earn more and more money to the extend whr she could buy anything to please “K”.
though “K” never did ask much, but then “Y” everyday taking sending her lunch as an excuse jst to see her lil angel for a few mins. wen she finally tk her guts to ask “K” did she loves her… “K” gave her a positive answer which “Y” long to hear for so long. she never knws tht answer kept her smiling thru the rain.
but then happy moment never always thr for her. “K” finally gives “Y” a cold shoulder again. “Y” did not knw where she did wrong.. She was hoping “K” would tell her.. but as usual, thr will be no reply.how can anything b so wrong wen they are okay a day ago..
“K” do u knw, she missed u alot till the extend where she dun feel like eating nor sleeping and keeping herself awake to receive msges from u.. she really loves u. miss u.
signing off,
Genesis
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Wen Love is blind....
today they finally sat and she put all her guts and ask her if she is serious about it. and she just nodded. izzit a yes or she nodded jst for fun. well of cos i am happy for her if tht lady she loves finally agree even despite its for a wrong reason... but how wrong cn it be.. to be wif the woman she loves...
i wishes her, happiness and of cos treasure it cos i knw it will definally be a very short moment. but as long as thy are happy in the short momentum den i guess everything will be alright eh?
if only "K" knws tht she really loves her and willing to do everything for her.. I hope "K" doesnt tk her for granted. Seriously, i bet she don wan 2 fall back and hurt herself deeper then she is nw. My fren, I am happy u found happiness which u think it perhaps its true. but then in the reality, its still for a wrong reason. but yet i knw, As long u get the chance to be by her side u are satisfied enuf.
"Y" i hope u r happy as ever as nw "K" nodded yes. but then wert status of relationship r u guys in?? faster make it clear ok. . but then of cos one step at a time... one by one... things tht come too fast go away fast too.. so tk it slow may it will last longer or in fact forever....
to u "K"... "Y" loves u alot... can u hear her... she really loves u alot. ^.^
i wishes her, happiness and of cos treasure it cos i knw it will definally be a very short moment. but as long as thy are happy in the short momentum den i guess everything will be alright eh?
if only "K" knws tht she really loves her and willing to do everything for her.. I hope "K" doesnt tk her for granted. Seriously, i bet she don wan 2 fall back and hurt herself deeper then she is nw. My fren, I am happy u found happiness which u think it perhaps its true. but then in the reality, its still for a wrong reason. but yet i knw, As long u get the chance to be by her side u are satisfied enuf.
"Y" i hope u r happy as ever as nw "K" nodded yes. but then wert status of relationship r u guys in?? faster make it clear ok. . but then of cos one step at a time... one by one... things tht come too fast go away fast too.. so tk it slow may it will last longer or in fact forever....
to u "K"... "Y" loves u alot... can u hear her... she really loves u alot. ^.^
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