Its The Final Count Down

12 hours more I am taking the flight.. yeay yeay....But then I guess I will be very tired wen I am back in KL i mean schedule is so pack.. sighz...

I wanna go pack pack and do final checking now..

I was hoping to talk to u before I leave but then seems like u r so busy cant talk to me and etc.. but ts ok..i hope i can convince myself its ok den feeling sad...

I M sick

I dunno wert happen today. Since yesterday my stomach turn inside out.. Went in to the toilet a few times in office.. And even today. I dunno wert to eat for dinner ended up I only took 2 cans of tomato juice.. yum yum..

Dubbing VO wif Janelle.. Gosh she is pretty, funny and friendly. Den do pitching wif Jo, my apple pie. ^.^ she kept laughing at me. So bad.. I knw I am nt tht serious time.. But then I am nt tht playful neither Jo.

Till now, my stomach still upset down inside out.. sighz.. even worst I feel my body heat and I am feeling dizzy.. really dizzy even now.. I guess i need to go to bed.. I dun wan2 fall sick.

NO!!!!!!

I hated it ALOT

Today went to office as usual had dinner. Again Japanese Food. Damn. Cos they wanted to eat the porridge over thr. So, I have my ramen. Well, eating I was wondering about her. Yesh, I tried to msg out. Damn the phone. I am nt sure why I have credit i can call but nt being able to send out msg.

I dunno wert is wrong in between us. I knw we r frens. Infact, I just dun like it wenever she say go kao lui and dis and tht. Its neither U dun understand wert I am going thru or wert..I am love being loved by u. being missed by u. I do not request us being an item. but please dun push me around. I M NT A BALL. It actually irratates me wen u act dis way. I do not wish to lash out on u nor anything. but I cant help it. I am sorry.

Valerie announce tht I am going to tk over the MTV as online. To be honest i dun have confidence. I am still thinking izzit a good idea. I know I have to be happy and blessed about this. But I am worry if I am nt up to expectation. Val, u knw I am over stressed easily. but I cant tell u tht can I. I dun wan to upset U nor Ho. but most of all, i dun think I can bear this failure. I am afraid now.. I am really afraid. Fear which I have to hide. No one will understand nor know. No one will.

Meanwhile, Bi, I mish u much. alot. to the extend I am going weak. My love for u aint changing. But going stronger and stronger everyday. How I wish I could see and her ur laughter wenever I am down nor upset. u r the charger to my battery of life. aikxxxzz, tht sounded kinda weird to be a metaphor eh. U have been my saviour wen I am dead and helpless. U meant the world to me. Don leave me helpless over here...i miss u.. where r u?

tired~~

Sunday went to JLN Ipoh go get terter's motor. ==" ya, i ride her motor back all the way to pyramid. Damn scary I last ride a motor was like on 4 years back..Almost lost control a few times. But lucky thing I manage to control it. So took way from Duke Highway cut thru to Hartamas, den from thr cut thru to PJ. But then got motor road block damn.. str8 U turn.

Den run to bao bei (selly)'s house. lolx. after tht went back to pyramid using old klang road. Haiz..

Den yesterday having monday blue.went to office so down. No room somemore... haiz.. ended up den to lvl 2 alone.. so scary..

I dun wan2 see u sad nor stress. It hurts me wen u r. U knw I am willing to share and even let u lashes out on me. No matter wert I am standing here..wif u..

As I pormised...

Well, the post earlier, I said thr is smt interesting happened. LOLx. I went to pick up Selly at night in Barcelona, Guess wert? Thr is a Gal took off her BRA and CLOTHES!!!! MY GOD.. just cos a guy gave her RM 100. Wert a shame...

Hmm... Yesterday, I work from 6 pm till the next day 10 am only chow from office. Damn tired till now... only get to sleep for 4 hours.. den need to get back to office.. at 6pm till 3 am.. now only got home. Stupid. the programme called WESAK DAY. I think now I wan2 go cut bold and become a monk/nun.

Ho and Yap so bad.. say if I cut botak thy will help me make 6 dot on my head.

Today all ppl in office damn stress.. So i kept singing and laughing to make them laugh. Pity Valerie and Samantha. Scare me today Samantha smoke, Val also. So i accompany them talk to them and talk crap. make them laugh. Then Ho, told me al wear G- STRING. I was like"really really? Dun believe" den Ho ask me to touch and see. I was like NO. den Val say touch la.. hahaha. Den I poke her on her ass.. lolx. Den I told her.."mmmm, very tendering" lolx

Den wen back tht time she called and say she misses me. LOLx. Val, Val.... later Benard kill me how??!!!! LOLx..

ps: I know how somethings sometimes hurts u. But then U gotta stand up tall and FIGHT. I have faith in u, yuki-chan lolx.

yesterday

Yesterday all my trouble seem so far away... lolx. not really. yesterday morning I was being poke by 9 needles.. wif voltages.. lol.

Nothing much happen actually. Den Yap and me kept pulling Valerie to have dinner wif us. Pity Sam she just finish her shift just now. Damn she work 20 hours le... so sad.. I guess today she must be off... sobs then no one will be having dinner wif me jor lor... sad case.. sad case.. eat alone...

now gtg office liau.. guess i will update more after work tonight. alot of things happen this morning.... wait till i am back I will upload all of it here....

Feeling down and falling into deep depths of well.

I woke up today feeling blue. I wish myself r a lil more happy then yesterday. but seems like I am nt. I felt my heart pounding fast and yet slow at the same time. I got a heart burn. My back pain as if thr r needles poking thru it. So i decided to tk a break from work today.

Went over to pyramid, saw Irene. however in the fact, my mind is thinking about yuki all the time. I was happy enuf wen she msged me. Looking at Irene, i felt my life hav been wasted. I waited a year and plus and yet we remain as stranger at times. I feel down again. I dint knw y i dun wan2 walk and say hi to her. Terter ask me Y dun i go over and say HI. I wish to but my heart stop me from doing it. It hurts me everytime wen I see her. But i have to face the fact tht I love her and this person exist. eventhough i am letting her go slowly but things and memories about her hunts me down. I saw her smiling so happily, but it was never for me. I turn and look the other way. God knws how mush I am almost breaking into tears.

Wanted to go hospital, but dint manage to go. Oh bother! I wish I am dead. I strive so hard but yet I am a failure. So y bother to be heal.

Wen to AC wif jez,sammi,knompy and terter I dint expect Xin coming. I did a mistake, I shouldnt have told her. Yeah, maybe the fact tht the way she thinks and I think is diff. But then I cant deny the fact tht xin is a fren of mine too. And nw she is angry, Cass~ Cass wen only will u gonna tell her. you wanted her. want her to be happy? wan her day and night? listen to her voice, listen to her laughter. but it all doesnt matters, cos she aint feeling tht ways towards u.

Is she even feeling the same for u as u feel for her.. y izzit hard for u to say the words " will u be mine?" I knw I am afraid. I cant afford to loose this gal even as a fren. but if one day, if this gal no longer exist in my mind, I only wanted to wish her " Happy Valentine" cos she remain a very special place, here in my heart. And I hope, everyday is a Valentine as this is the day where u would show extra loves, appreciations and cares. Cos no matter if u r wif her, I wish u both happy always. And yes, I love u. but I cant afford to loose. So let me end this feelings of wert I felt before its too late.

signing off,
Enigma.

Hair Cut Day

Today I AM pretty tired. Woke up at 10 am wen I slept at 6am.. Terter say Sammi went into hospital cos she accident yesterday. So, she went x-stray. Terter reach my house around 12.30pm. I was kinda blur. Went and pick Selly up cos she also wan2 go cut hair. lolx say wan2 cut TB hair wor she... bt tht stylish told her she doesn suit short hair. so she dint cut. muahahahahahahahaha *evil laughter* i told her a dy yesterday she dun wan2 listen to me. wan me to scold only she say see 1st. ended up fated cannot cut.lolx

Called yuki earlier b4 I go cut my hair. Just a quick few chats. I misses her alot. Her laughter also ease my probs away.. *wink* Cant wait to go get a Roti tissue wif her. KLCC height!

Knompy wear so formal today. lolx. White long sleeves, a black slack and tie and a skin shoe. Guess wert is she working as... Selling dog biscuit. muahahaha.. I am nt laughing cos of her job I m laughing cos she look so funny. plus she was sucking a pacifier. lolx. Racheal bought it for her. I should have tk a pic eh.. too bad i dint.

If only i realised it earlier....

Sam Sam Eating Happily
TQ Yap for getting sweat over u just to tk tis lil wings for us.

Sunday, my only day to get a rest, however was being pulled to shop. Sobs.

1st wen to "paste de gohan" ate wif sam and yap. den I went and buy bread for her. And not to forget a piece of fruit! Bought 2 short pants. "Be Element" Cheap cheap only~~ =p

Den we headed to GJ for a drink. Den we went to yuen yuen buffet feast. Wen thr at 5.30pm and den 7 pm rush back to pyramid again. And AGAIN~ to gj meet up her for a drink. Wen buy dinner and mini cup cakes wif her. DEn i rush back to yuen yuen, later on Val already thr eating happily...

DOne wif tht, i went pick up terter in Damansara. Giler her car over heated. Wen to KLCC and pick up Selly and Mei Mei. Went Sing K. When I am at KLCC, I missed someone. COs i remember the Roti Tissue she said.

However, too bad. Its not a bit I am late. But too late. To be honest, if things doesnt work out I think I would be happy. I just dunno y. Forget it. Its too late to grief over. She is now happily thr wif another half. Wert would she cares if I am nt going to contact her again right...

blame it on no one but myself nt realising earlier.

sleepless night

*geez* i have been sleepless for this few weeks. I feel restless and tired. Sie Knompy, talk to her on the phone for more den an hour. Si kedekut punya lao gong. Dare to say ownself gentlement kononnya. lolx. Call me and den ask me to call back..

Today she go lagoon thr and work. Yesterday I send Bi a msg saying I missed her. In my suprise she did reply towards my msg. LOLx Even though she is nt saying tht she missed me. saying smt else.

I feel damn hungry nw... its saturday!!!!! and i have to work later. Pik chik man!

3 more weeks

My back bone is still not completely heal. Sighz. ended up dint went back to penang. damn sad. I misses all things in penang.

Went shopphing and movie wif Valerie,Samantha n Yap thy all on Sunday. Watched Talentime.nice movie. Funny but alot of things u have to go figure urself. lolx. That movie very local feel. wif all the languages and foul words.. lolx.. but then beautiful love stories among frens and family.. =)

3 more weeks, I am flying off already... =P cant wait.

(L:Yap R: Knompy. Pencuri stealing nut)

Saturday, wert a day

Its saturday today, finally a holiday for me!!! yeay yeay... somehow i feel pretty sad. She dun really like me calling her. Well, i knw la it cost alot. But i still can afford lerrr... Calling to melbourne cost 90cent per mins... i knw i did say my bill raising high... but then as a fren I called u sincerely..

I dunno wert came into ur mind wen u say u r nt worth. Tht word "worth" hurts me the most. Y do u even measure ur own worth... Whether r u or r u nt to me... let me measure it ok.. u dun ave to worry about a thing.

if being fren is talkting about the worthness in each other then there is no point in being frens then